Money. It's better than not.

Money.  We either love it or hate it but we all need it. 

Each of us has a story about money:  It doesn’t grow on trees, it’s the cause of all evil, it can’t buy you love.  Some say you have to work hard for the money, there’s not enough of it, hold onto it when you get it.  And then there are those who believe, money makes the world go around.

No matter what your current money story is, you can change it.

Think about money as a person that you are in a relationship with.  What’s it like?  How is money treating you?  How are you treating money?  Would you consider it a good relationship, balanced and supportive, or an abusive relationship, always asking and not getting?  

My relationship with money was abusive.  There was no other way to describe it.  I was allowing money to treat me in a way that I would never let any human being treat me.  There was no reason for me to tolerate it anymore.  So, what did I do? I wrote a letter.

"Once again, I come home and you are not here!  I can’t take it anymore!  I won’t take it anymore.

For years, I’ve allowed you to come and go as you please, leaving me for days, weeks, MONTHS not knowing when you would comeback.  Never being able to count on you from one day to the next. Well now I’m done

I realize that none of this is your fault. I take full responsibility for this relationship. The past, the present and the future.  I am drawing a line in the sand and at this moment there are going to be some changes made.

No longer will I feel that I don’t deserve to have as much of you as I want.

No longer will I feel that you are the source of evil or that if I have you someone else will not.

As of this moment, I will respect you and know where you are at all times.

I will use you to create good in the world.

I will not hoard you but will keep you in the flow.

I will use you to support myself and others.

I will invest in our future.

I will do what is necessary to keep you attracted to me.

I will see you everywhere.

I will create a space for you and as you grow, so will that space.

I will greatly receive the gifts and joy that you bring.

I am prepared to do the work to keep you moving and to keep me and mine happy.

You are abundant and together we will greatly impact our world."

We are doing much better now. 

What's your currrent money story?  How are you going to change it?  Leave a comment below to tell us what your new story is.

If You Can't Love Yourself . . .

“What is the biggest cause of a relationship breaking down?” She asked.

“Lack of communication.”

“Lack of intimacy.”

“Lack of passion.”

“Lack of money,” they answered.

“Those are the results,” she said. “The true cause of a relationship breaking down is lack of self-care.”

Silence. 

As soon as I heard her say it, I knew she was right.  She was after all the relationship expert in the room.  Up to that point I thought that the results had been the cause of all the challenges in my relationships.  Past & current. Personal & professional. When in reality, it was my lack of self-care.

In those relationships, I was not taking care of myself.  I wasn’t asking for what I needed.  I was expecting to just receive what I needed.  “Well he should know what I need”, “She’s not listening to me”, “They just aren’t getting me.”  I have said this about partners, bosses, friends, coworkers and family.  I always saw the problem was with them.  Even though the common denominator in all those relationships was me, I never took responsibility for my part in the breakdowns.  I never took responsibility for myself.

So, when your relationship is a bit bumpy, and you hear that lack of self-care is the cause, what do you do?  If you want to stay in that relationship, you start to take care of yourself, practice self-love and ask for what you need.

“If you can’t love yourself, how in the hell you gonna love somebody else?   Can I get an Amen?”  - RuPaul

How many times do we have to be told to take care of ourselves before taking care of others?  What will it take for us to realize that sacrificing ourselves for the sake of others will not make any relationship better.  When you love yourself first, you are creating a being of love. A being that attracts others like moths to a flame.  A being that is stronger, more self-aware and more attractive.  You know what you want, and you know how to ask for it.  Without fear.  Asking from a place of love.

Are you experiencing your relationships from a place of fear?  Here are some things that you can do to jumpstart a practice of self-care and self-love.

Take time for yourself.

Schedule daily time that is just for you and make it special.  Create morning and/or evening rituals.

Get up 30 minutes before everyone else.  Use that time to meditate, journal, have your morning drink, go for a run, stretch, take a long shower, listen to music, read, set your intentions for the day.

Go to bed 30 minutes after everyone else.  You can use this time to read, journal, have your special relaxing tea, stretch, take a long bath, think about all the things that you are grateful for.

This is not extra time to do laundry, make the kids’ lunch or complete unfinished chores.  This is time for you and it is non negotiable.

Do something special for yourself.  Weekly.

Take yourself out to lunch.  Go to the beach.  Your favorite museum.  Dance to your favorite song.  See friends. Have a Spa day.

                Ask for what you want.

Stop assuming your boss or partner or friend or coworker or family, know what you need.  Tell them what you want and how you want it.  The more specific you are, the more likely you are to get it.  If you don’t know what you want, then repeat 1 and 2 from above and try again.

Sabotage! New Year’s Resolutions

It’s a clear, cold evening between Christmas and New Years’, and I’m sitting in front of a roaring fire, a cup of hot coco or a glass of wine next to me. In my lap is my journal and I’m holding my favorite pen with the blue-black ink. This is it! Time to reflect on the past year and time to set some resolutions for the New Year.

I write it all down and I’m feeling great! I have this amazing list of goals and ideas that will make this year the best ever!

During the first week of the January, I am still excited about what I am going to accomplish and who I’m going to become. I can’t wait to get started, but I can’t this week. I’m still recovering from the last 2 weeks.

The second week of January. I am now ready to take action. “Let’s do this!” I prepare to jump into action, and the voices start. “You should lose a few pounds before starting that yoga class.” “You’re too old to change careers.” “You can’t function without 2 cups of coffee in the morning and what about the headache you’ll get the day after you stop? You don’t want that.” “You don’t have the time …” “You don’t know enough . . .” “That’s going to be really hard.” “Maybe in a few years you’ll have something to contribute.”

These thoughts fill my head. They are loud and now I begin to believe them and before I even get started, I stop. I stop going after the things that I want or making the changes that I need to create the life that I want to live and become the person that I want to be. I instead stop dead in my tracks and settle for this me and this life. Maybe I’ll try again later. Next year.

Is this where you are? Are you about to scrap the new and improved 2017 model of you for that old 2012 model you’ve been holding on to? Are you sabotaging your New Year's Resolutions? Again?

Time to stop this insanity! You already know how much better your life will be when you go after those resolutions. That’s why you set them in the first place.

Today is the day to take back control of your life and become the creator of your tomorrow. That’s the way it’s supposed to be.

Let’s do this!

Together.

Come join our “Creating Your Own Tomorrow Support Program.” Part mastermind, part support/accountability team and part group coaching, this program helps all of us create the results that we want and put us back in the driver’s seat on our road of life.

Step up and fight for your destiny.

For more information on this program including how you can sign up for free, visit my website, www.sunbridgecoaching.com to schedule an appointment.

“If you find you are weak in persistence, surround yourself with a Mastermind Group.” Napolean Hill.

Accessing the Power of Gratitude

The practice of gratitude as a tool for happiness has been in the mainstream for years. Long-term studies support gratitude’s effectiveness, suggesting that a positive, appreciative attitude contributes to greater success in work, greater health, peak performance in sports and business, a higher sense of well-being, and a faster rate of recovery from surgery.

But while we may acknowledge gratitude’s many benefits, it still can be difficult to sustain. So many of us are trained to notice what is broken, undone or lacking in our lives. And for gratitude to meet its full healing potential in our lives, it needs to become more than just a Thanksgiving word. We have to learn a new way of looking at things, a new habit. And that can take some time.

That’s why practicing gratitude makes so much sense. When we practice giving thanks for all we have, instead of complaining about what we lack, we give ourselves the chance to see all of life as an opportunity and a blessing.

Remember that gratitude isn’t a blindly optimistic approach in which the bad things in life are whitewashed or ignored. It’s more a matter of where we put our focus and attention. Pain and injustice exist in this world, but when we focus on the gifts of life, we gain a feeling of well-being. Gratitude balances us and gives us hope.

There are many things to be grateful for: colorful autumn leaves, legs that work, friends who listen and really hear, chocolate, fresh eggs, warm jackets, tomatoes, the ability to read, roses, our health, butterflies. What’s on your list?

Some Ways to Practice Gratitude

Keep a gratitude journal in which you list things for which you are thankful. You can make daily, weekly or monthly lists. Greater frequency may be better for creating a new habit, but just keeping that journal where you can see it will remind you to think in a grateful way.

  • Make a gratitude collage by drawing or pasting pictures.

  • Practice gratitude around the dinner table or make it part of your nighttime routine.

  • Make a game of finding the hidden blessing in a challenging situation.

  • When you feel like complaining, make a gratitude list instead. You may be amazed by how much better you feel.

  • Notice how gratitude is impacting your life. Write about it, sing about it, express thanks for gratitude.

As you practice, an inner shift begins to occur, and you may be delighted to discover how content and hopeful you are feeling. That sense of fulfillment is gratitude at work.

Happy Summer!

Hi Everyone!

I am Zelia.  Kevin’s daughter. I am 10 years old and I love to sing and dance and play Minecraft.  But enough about me.

For the next 2 months, its summer vacation and that means NO SCHOOL!!!!!!!!  I like school but I like having some time off.

As you know Papa, Kevin, is a coach.  That means he helps people create and  live the life of their dreams.  He’s really good at it too! He helps me all the time.  Sometimes when I have a disagreement with a friend, I’ll go to him and he’ll give me advise as to how to handle it.  I usually leave feeling better and with a plan to help my friend and me deal with the situation and we become even better friends.  He’s also helping me achieve my dream of being a Minecraft Youtube star!

I could go on and on about how great he is at what he does but all you need to know is now is a great time for you to start working with him.  This is a great time for teachers and parents to work with him because for the next 2 months they have the time and energy to focus on themselves.  Take advantage of it people!

The seventh habit of the 7 Habits of Highly Successful People is “Sharpen the Saw”.  That means take some time for yourself, relax, learn something new, do something that will allow you to grow.  That’s what summer vacation is all about.  Isn’t it?

Make the most of your summer and start creating the life of your dreams now. Click on this link to schedule a free “Sharpen the Saw” session with my dad.

Thanks for your time.

Have a great summer!

Sweet Cares. Zelia

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